FIRST DATE CONVERSATION!
done the hard work - you've approached someone and not only talked
to them but secured both their telephone number and a date to
boot. So now comes the finale - the date itself. There's a lot
you can do to prepare, to help things run smoothly (and hopefully
help you secure a second date).
Where to go on a first date
The first thing to think about is the best place to go. Lunch
is a good option; it usually lasts between one and two hours and
there's no pressure to stick around if things don't work out.
If however, you're getting on swimmingly you can always go on
choosing to go out for dinner then take care with the restaurant
you choose as they often dim the lights and soften the music,
which can then make it look like you're on a romantic date - before
you've worked out if that's the way you'd like it to be.
People are often panicked by awkward silences, but a little
preparation goes a long way. By reading a couple of newspapers
to brush-up on showbiz gossip and current affairs you will have
plenty of material to keep your companion engaged. It might help
to pick four or five interesting topics, jot them down and keep
them handy. Nine times out of ten just knowing that they're there
is enough - you'll probably find that you don't need them anyway.
Conversation on the date
To take the pressure off the date and to guarantee that the
chat flows freely, you can prepare a loose plan of what you'd
like to talk about. You'll probably find that you don't need it,
but as any tightrope walker will admit, the experience is a lot
more comfortable with a safety net.
prepare yourself a conversational beginning, middle and an end:
could ask questions about the menu, food or wine they enjoy, your
journey there, their work, whether they enjoy it.
shall we have to drink?
Do you fancy wine with the meal?
Let's check out the menu! Is there anything on the menu you haven't
tried but have been curious about?
Where do you live? Did it take long to get here?
What sort of work do you do? Do you enjoy it?
could ask questions about hobbies, travel or anything they've
mentioned previously that could be expanded on:
you have any hobbies?
Have you travelled much? Where have you been?
Are you going away this year?
What country would you most like to go to and why?
could also throw in an offbeat question to lighten the mood, something
like: "If you could cook for any three people from history,
who would they be?". If this peps up the conversation, you
could also ask: "What would you cook for them?".
this point things will be coming to a climax, so if a second date
has not been secured or has not come up, a good question to ask
was the last film you saw? Anything on at the moment you would
like to see? (and it doesn't matter if you've already seen it,
simply say: "Oh I'd love to see that") And if they're
interested they should say something along the lines of: "Well
I am thinking of going to see it next week you are more than welcome
to join me."
worry too much about having to see the film again. The fact is
you have secured a second date and when next week comes you can
always say "I'm not in a cinema mood. Do you fancy going
for a drink instead?"
Five tips for success
1. Have a few questions and conversation topics prepared in advance.
2. Listen to your date with genuine interest.
3. Ask questions - talk about the food you're eating, share the
4. Be positive and remember you're selling yourself on the first
5. And finally, you've worked hard to get this date so think happy
and enjoy yourself!
put your dating skills to the test!