need a pen and some paper.
sure you have a reasonable block of time, say 30 minutes, when
you won't be disturbed.
you're struggling to remember when you first met, dig out some
old photographs and spend time reminiscing. Take a sheet of paper
and divide it into three.
the first column write down all the character and behavioural
traits that first attracted you to your partner. For example:
* looked after their appearance
In the second column write down how you felt about those traits
and how they made you feel when you were together.
example, you might enjoy someone's easy-going nature because they
let you choose where to go, and you might be proud to be with
someone who takes time looking after their appearance.
If you do this exercise when you're feeling angry or upset with
your partner you will get quite a different picture, so make sure
you're in a reasonable frame of mind.
the third column, write down how you feel about your partner's
character traits now. For many things you may feel the same, but
for others you may feel quite different.
example, you may now find someone who is easy-going frustrating
because they won't make a decision and you may be irritated by
the vanity of the person who looks after their appearance.
you've finished this exercise you should be able to see that there's
a good and bad side to every character trait.
it's up to you to decide if you want to accept the good with the
bad. An easy-going person may let you do what you want but, on
the other hand, you don't want to live with a slob. If you feel
something really needs to change, take a look at Resolving