is retarded ejaculation?
in ejaculating is known by doctors as retarded ejaculation. Although
men with this problem may be fully sexually aroused during sex and
enjoying the stimulation, orgasm seems to take for ever and may
not happen at all.
ejaculation (RE) can be a very distressing condition and make
men feel embarrassed, isolated, confused and very frustrated.
often blame themselves and feel inadequate, which puts even more
pressure on the man to perform and compounds the problem.
men may have had the condition all their life, in all sexual situations.
Some will have no problem when masturbating alone but tense up
completely with a partner. Others may only have the problem during
Retrograde ejaculation is very different to retarded ejaculation.
If you experience the sensation of orgasm but don't ejaculate,
you probably have this. Instead of the semen being expelled, it's
forced backwards into the bladder and men with the condition will
sometimes notice that their urine is cloudy after orgasm. It is
often a result of spinal injury, diabetes, neurological diseases
or prostate surgery. Retrograde ejaculation can cause infertility
if left untreated.
If you experience retarded ejaculation when you're masturbating
as well as with a partner, then the cause may be physical. Check
with your GP if you think any of these may apply to you:
* nerve damage
* prostate disease
* alcohol abuse
* prescription drugs such as betablockers or antidepressants
The most common causes of RE are psychological, the mind blocks
the physical sensations and prevents ejaculation. Your body is telling
you you're ready - you have an erection to prove it - but your head
may be trying to tell you something else. Possible psychological
Change your habits
If you've always masturbated in exactly the same way, with exactly
the same stroke and exactly the same pressure, your body may not
know how to respond to anything different. Intercourse, or a new
partner, is going to feel different. Try varying how you masturbate.
Gradually, you should notice your body's increased sensitivity to
a variety of touch.
* You're a perfectionist. Sex is a performance and you must make
it perfect for your partner. Sex has become all work and no play.
* You're scared to lose control. This may be a character trait in
many areas of your life, not just sexually.
* You're worried that you're not a good lover. You can't enjoy your
physical sensations if you're worrying about your sexual prowess
and ability to please your partner.
* Deep down, you believe sex is wrong. Shame or guilt about sexuality
due to negative childhood messages or a sexual trauma will prevent
* You're distracted. Concerns about work or other tasks mean your
mind's not on the job.
* You're spectating. Concentrate on the physical sensations of love
making, slip off into your favourite fantasy. This will free you
from feeling too conscious of reaching a climax.
* You're unhappy. If you're feeling angry or insecure with your
partner, you may struggle to feel relaxed enough to enjoy yourself.
Try to sort out relationship tensions before you get to the bedroom.
Self-help advice and exercises
For ways to put these tips into action, see the section on practical
* Make sure you're feeling relaxed, try breathing exercises or
buy a relaxation tape
* Enjoy being sensual first, taking time to focus on pleasurable
* Escape into your favourite fantasy to block out any negative
thoughts or distractions
* Try different positions to maximise stimulation
* Cut down alcohol consumption and don't use recreational drugs
* Discuss with doctor if medication side effects may be responsible
If some of these points have rung a bell for you, you may find
that simply talking it through with your partner will help. Or you
may both decide to try the support and guidance of a psychosexual