LIFE AFTER ABUSE
Will I ever
get over it?
there is life after abuse and the pain and confusion will fade.
recognise that the emotional and practical losses you've experienced
may affect you for a while, so be kind to yourself and don't create
unrealistic timetables for recovery.
by someone you love is a profound betrayal of trust and although
it varies for each person, healing may be a long process.
find counselling very useful as this can help to make sense of
painful and conflicting emotions. You can ask your GP to refer
You can also
contact your local refuge to see if there's a support group near
you where you could meet other women who have survived domestic
In your day-to-day
life, it can help to try and concentrate on doing things that
were impossible when you were with your partner. Many women speak
of the joy at 'rediscovering' themselves again and of having the
freedom to spend their time doing whatever they choose.
How can I be sure it won't happen again?
Starting all over again
Lots of women managed to re-build their lives after an abusive
truth is that you can't guarantee avoiding something that wasn't
your fault in the first place.
do remember that most women who experience domestic violence don't
continually have violent relationships. You might find it useful
to read our article on Warning signs.
to be cautious of is rushing into a new committed relationship
before having healed from the abuse. You may be especially vulnerable
to predatory men at this time and it's also a good idea to spend
some time focusing on your own needs.
Should I tell my new partner about my violent relationship?
Only you can really judge if the time is right to share your
history with a new partner. However, in most cases, it's probably
better to wait until a level of trust has been established before
you share too many details.
If you feel
you need to offer some kind of explanation - you can always say
something unspecific like 'My last relationship was quite difficult
and ended badly'.
thing is to open up at a pace that you're comfortable with and
which doesn't leave you feeling vulnerable and insecure.
I'd like to use my knowledge to help other women - what can
There are many advantages to volunteering. As well as helping
to meet new people and gain new skills, it's also a way in which
you can make positive use of your terrible experiences.